Yep. That time when we reflect on the previous 364 days and say things like, “Man.. I should have kept up with the gym.” OR “Wow, if only I’d have saved that two dollars a day like I wanted to!” Or, my favorite: “What the hell have I done all year?”
Well, I went to the gym about 1/16 as much as I wanted to. I didn’t save ANY money this year. I didn’t start the “Stop Roadkill Squirrels” foundation like I wanted to. The amount of squirrel carcasses in the middle of roads sickens me. How could you people? There were a few problems with starting my foundation, the first one being I am the only person who really gives a crap about dead squirrels (and other furry road kill) except my children.
Yes, I instilled the “it doesn’t matter if your head goes into the dashboard – save the damn squirrel!” mantra into my beautiful children. It is so bad that when I am driving down the road and I see a lifeless lump up ahead, I say things like, “That better not be a squirrel!” Sometimes it isn’t a dead squirrel (or cat, or raccoon, or possum) to which I shout “yay!” Other times, it is and I say things like, “Good job, a-hole. What did that poor squirrel do to you?” and yes, I am actually in my car, alone, when I say these things. Or with my children who stare out the windshield with lifeless eyes, pretending they don’t hear me. But I know they do.
Yes, people have asked me if I have had a psychiatric evaluation. Yes, I have had one. The doctors laughed nervously and told me I was “a-okay Ms. Steelman!”
So THIS year I am doing it different. I am making a list of things I want to do over the course of my life. Kind of like a Pushing 39 Bucket List. The catch is I have to do two a year. If I do more than that well then I will just give myself a Scratch N Sniff Sticker, a cup of coffee and hug a squirrel.
So the 2012 Kick in the Ass To Do List so far is…
- Ski. (going on January 1st – hee hee)
- Get published.
- Go to the freaky deaky womba bomba GYM. (I have a hard time with this one due to the slacker gene passed down through my family for centuries – thanks Mom & Dad!)
That’s pretty much it for now. Now.. I am hoping the skiing goes well. I like trees, but not much into moshing with them.
Got any exciting plans for 2012?