I – Inconsistency – The Backbone of Failure

rhizoming the plan of consistency . .Inconsistency should really be my middle name.  Throughout my life, I have been inconsistent about everything: work, family, kids, money and even hobbies.  I don’t know if I have untreated A.D.H.D. or if I am just inherently lazy, but this crap has plagued me since I was little.  I get all gung-ho about something and then a day, week or a month floats by and I say, “Wow, this is pretty f’ing boring.” Other times, I purposely refrain from proceeding, perhaps in an attempt to self-sabotage.  I’m really good at that.

Inconsistency is the main ingredient in any recipe for failure.  For me, not writing 500 words a day leads to no published novel (hell, not even a final draft!) along with many other unfulfilled dreams and aspirations that I could have if I just remained consistent.  I could sit here and make tons of excuses as to my lack of motivation, my screaming inconsistency and my lazy ways, but that’s just it.  They are excuses.

What I am consistent with: my program and abstaining from alcohol and drugs.  Please know that I am not bragging.  It isn’t set in stone that “I got this” when it comes to my recovery from alcoholism/addiction.  I see it too much in the places I go… people I care about falling off the wagon or never quite grasping the concept.  Maybe they did have the concept but for whatever reason, decided to “try to drink successfully.”  I can honestly say I have not seriously entertained taking a drink or drug in these past years… even when those silly, glamorized booze commercials come on the television or I watch a movie with blatant drug use.  I do get those little tummy knots sometimes when I watch something like that, but that’s my cue.  “Turn it off, Darlene.  Nothing to see here.”

By the Grace of God, I will have seven clean & sober years on May 26, 2013.

Comments

  1. Congrats on your sobriety. That is wonderful and something you should brag about. Shout it out to the world. It will help you stay focused. I wish you all the success of the world moving forward. You’re doing the right thing, turn off the tv, leave any unsafe place. Prayers for you! ~~ Emmly Jane

  2. You’re consistent in inspiring my respect and admiration.

  3. treadmillconfessions says:

    That’s amazing. I think you’re pretty consistent, all of the other areas that you’re beating yourself up over have some wiggle-room. This sobriety thing–you’re pretty damn consistent. Congratulations of your achievements :)

  4. Congratulations, I’m a ‘May baby’ too. Until I got sober, the 12 step programme was the only thing I did consistently too. Now I’m sober I have no excuse. All these things take practice, I’m more consistent now than I’ve ever been.

  5. And yet, you have this great blog that is an inspiration and a pleasure for us out here. I’d say consistency is relative. You’re doing great.

  6. Like it says –God’s grace is sufficient unto the day.

  7. Congratulations on your sobriety, Darlene. I am so happy for you.

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