R – Resentment – The Road to Misery

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This post was originally called “Righteousness – The Road to Misery” but I changed it last-minute.  Resentment and righteousness go hand in hand, really. After all, I can’t feel resentful if I am not feeling righteous.  Not to mention, resentment is the number one thing that sends alcoholics and addicts back to a drink or drug no matter how long they have been sober.

I stated in an earlier post how angry I was as a child.  This anger brewed inside me as the decades of my life passed. Realistically, anger for me was always resentment.  I resented:

  • my parents
  • my looks
  • being poor
  • perceived wrongs
  • other people

The list went on for pages.  Then, when I got sober, I was still resentful at everyone and everything.  Sure, I was floating on the pink cloud of newfound freedom from drugs and alcohol.  It was great waking up feeling good – not hung over or dope sick.  But I still had all that resentment and it was eating away at my soul like cancer.

After my pink cloud dissipated into the sun of real life, I was still left with all that resentment!  What to do… how about a Fourth Step?  The Fourth Step works and continues to work today.  See, in all my resentment, anger, jealousy.. etc, I played a part!  I couldn’t believe that.  I mean, how the hell could I play a part in the way my ex-husband treated me years ago or any of the other “injustices” dumped on me?

It was simple and with the help of my sponsor I figured it out.  These days, if I feel resentful I kind of sit in it for a little while (I’m a good alcoholic) but then I really have to do a quick inventory, give it to God and let it go.  This makes for happier days.

How do you handle your resentments?

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Comments

  1. Although I never really had to deal with addictions, I had to deal with a lot of resentment before I could really take control of my life.

    Because the thing is, if I went on blaming other and resenting them for my life, I would just be stuck living in the past instead of moving forward.

    Nowadays, I also take stock as soon as possible and give it over to God. Because this is one cycle I never want to repeat.

    My Writing Blog
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  2. read m and r today, glad I visited. Saturday is usually the only time I can realistically read other blogs and ‘catch up’ and check in. yours is always on the list, I am glad I did. I have a bit of Resentment and Mad in my life too, being poor or poorer than the folks I wanted to hang with… the trouble is I was looking at their lives through rose colored glasses and my perceptions of their lives was way off. Now as an adult, I realize that we are all pretty much in the same boat – some have more, some have less, but it was what YOU do with it that makes the difference. I can choose. We all can choose. It looks like you made the choice to move forward and look ahead, keep going.

  3. I get physical. Go for a walk, hula-hoop, just keep moving. Good post. Nice to meet you on the A to Z.

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