We Are Not Perfect

Perfection (Sandra Bernhard song)

Perfection (Sandra Bernhard song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

More so in the last ten years than any other year there seems to be this strive for perfection.  People want the perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect nose, boobs, butt… I could go on forever.  And don’t sit there like you don’t know what I’m talking about, because you see it, too.

Wake up people!  There is no such thing as perfection… none.  So strive away and kill yourself if you must trying to make it, do it, write it, sing it, draw it or look perfect. 

IT. WILL. NEVER. HAPPEN.

But what we can do is strive for perfection.  We can always do better, be better, act better, write better, think better, talk better, love better, work better….. we can always be better.

As an alcoholic (which translates to a sick mo-fo) one defect that plagues me to this day is the defect of “having to be perfect.”   So in a sense, this blog post is written to me along with the rest of my awesome readers because I have been feeling insecure for the past week or so.

Insecurity is my warped devil.  It tells me I will fail at everything.  It tells me I am never good enough or anything else enough.  I have to smash that devil with the hammer of hope.  I have to tell myself that, “yes, I do have flaws, but my flaws are what make me the beautiful human being I am.”

Some days I believe it, others not so much.  This is where my program of recovery comes in to play.

When I compare myself to others, I fall short every damn time.  “She’s this, she’s that. He has this, he has that. Theirs is better.  When am I going to get my just desserts?!”

When I compare myself to myself, I excel every time.  This time last year I was living somewhere else, in a different (loveless) relationship and depressed.  I was overweight (one of my ‘I never’s’) and feeling like total crap.

I made a conscious effort after a mild epiphany to “Strive For Perfection.” And must keep in my mind I will never attain it, but striving for it will and has helped me continue my progress.  Some days I have a mild setback, other days I kick butt!  In the words of Dori in “Finding Nemo” – JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

We are as perfect as our imperfections…

Do you strive for perfection?  Are you a perfectionist?  How do you deal with the demand for perfection in today’s society?

Ultimate Blog Challenge!

January

January (Photo credit: Deadly Tedly)

The Introduction

Happy New Year!  Welcome to the The Daily Woman.. a blog dedicated to living sober and giving life all you got!  I signed up for the Ultimate Blog Challenge just in time for 2013… The month of January is dedicated to living life sober, getting help, working the steps and tons of other useful information and links.

My goal is to post each of the 31 days.  :D

A lot of us wrapped up in alcoholism and addiction have made resolutions (or goals) of sobriety for 2013.  Most of these will be broken if the right help is not sought.

Now, I am not a doctor and I don’t even play one on TV, but I do know what has worked for me and hope to do some sort of twelfth step work through my blog. I have reached a point in my sobriety that what keeps me sober is doing the next right thing and putting my hand out to the next still sick and suffering alcoholic/addict.

Thanks for climbing on board and Happy New Year to you all.

A – Z Challenge ~ Z is for Zen

zen bedroom

zen bedroom (Photo credit: evoluc)

Zen is:
1. Chinese, Ch’an. Buddhism . a Mahayana movement, introduced into China in the 6th century a.d. and into Japan in the 12th century, that emphasizes enlightenment for the student by the most direct possible means, accepting formal studies and observances only when they form part of such means. Compare koan, mondo.
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2. the discipline and practice of this sect.
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Zen is also:
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The practice of finding complete peace and tranquility within one’s self.  I have a friend with whom I talk to about peace, zen and tranquility.  We have our own views of zen.  But, that is the beauty of Zen.  It is where ever you find peace.
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Your zen is unique.  Maybe your zen is sitting at a coffee shop surrounded by people, or maybe it is sitting on a giant rock in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees.
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Whichever your zen, try to find it at least once a week.  Go to your zen spot (if you can do up your bedroom in a zen-like state, even better) and breath in through your nose, exhale through your mouth and let your mind settle.
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This is the last in line for A-Z posts!  I had a lot of fun with this project.  I came upon a lot of cool blogs and had a lot of cool new commenters (and you old heads rock too!).
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My theme for the A-Z Challenge was mostly about SELF. Things that breed happiness, peace and confidence.
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Have a great week everyone!  :D
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A – Z Challenge ~ R is for Reinvent

sunny day

sunny day (Photo credit: jhoc)

How do we reinvent ourselves? We have to change things up. Reinventing means taking something old and making it different. We reinvent ourselves when we take a long hard look at what is going on in our life and figure out what is or is not working.
Maybe you have a bad attitude at work or maybe you wear the same damn type of clothes every single day or you read the same types of books all the time. CHANGE IT UP!

When we reinvent ourselves we are giving our self permission to step outside the box – that box of fuzzy blanket comfort – and recharge our batteries.

Maybe you had your eye on a new journal to write in that will bring forth ideas for that book you have been wanting to write or maybe there is a class that you have been wanting to take because you just know it will do you tons of ooey goodness.

I’ll tell you what.  All the nerve I possess I can thank my Gram for.  She never let me be a sissy and stay in the same humdrum routine when I was a little girl.  She taught me that if I want anything to change I have to change it.  I have to reinvent it.  I reinvent myself each day when I try something new or put a positive spin on a negative situation.

You can do it too!

The Day’s Ponder:  When was the last time you reinvented yourself?  Write down three ways you can reinvent yourself.

Talk About It Tuesday – Spiders, Hot Dog Butt Cancer & Ouija Boards

Welcome to Talk About It Tuesday!  Hope y’all have been enjoying the unseasonable, wonderful weather.  Lat week we talked about Sexist Laundry Instructions and Stalkers. Peoples is the craziest peoples!

This week I found some really interesting stuff.  You know how when you’re talking to your friend and she says she saw a huge spider under the sink and you go to get it and it is about the size of your fingernail (pinky) and you’re like, “he’s not so big” and she sees it and goes running into the other room screaming “it’s freaking huge!” and you look away uncomfortably?

Yeah, well, she really thinks it’s as big as she says. Spiders look much bigger to those that are terrified of them.  There was a study published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders that says (ad-libbing here) that the more freaked out people are over spiders, the bigger they look.  I am not afraid of spiders, so I couldn’t say.  However, any of my readers.. are you afraid of spiders?  Do they look bigger to you than what others say?  Feel free to share!

In Texas, a couple of teenage boys were messing around with a Ouija Board when the Ouija Board told Friend One (15 yo) to stab Friend Two (14 yo).  The bizarre part of the story is that Friend One believed that the Ouija Board told him to stab his friend (or maybe kill him?) and that the friend was causing his problems.  The Ouija Board is retailed by Hasbro for amusement purposes only.  But, do Ouija Boards really work?  Have you ever used one to communicate with the dead or after life? Did you get results?  Tell us! :)

Extra!  Extra!  Hot Dogs Cause Butt Cancer! In Chicago, the PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) is putting billboards up that warn of the dangers of eating hot dogs.  According to the PCRM (and the billboards) hotdogs cause colon and other cancers.  They don’t only say they cause cancer, they say they are the leading cause of colon and other cancers.

Janet Riley, president of the hot dog council (yes there really is one) says that hotdogs are part of a healthy, balanced diet. Uh, healthy, balanced diet?  I know when I was a kid, I loved hot dogs and baked beans.  Even better?  Hot dogs with the sideways slices on them cooked up on the grill.  Now I know that they are processed foods which are never, ever good for the body.  But butt cancer?

What are your thoughts on these findings?  Is this another scare tactic from hardcore vegans?

Thanks for joining me for another edition of Talk About It Tuesday!  Enjoy the rest of your week. :D

Moving Row (80) Along

Ah, the sweet smell, feel and look of the magnificent ROW80 badge!  Alright, enough with the corniness.  Seriously, Darlene.

This week has been an absolute roller coaster ride (for lack of a better cliché).  I made it to an AA meeting Friday night which was awesome.  I have been keeping up with my scheduled blog posts. How I ever managed to hold a blog together without the Scheduler, I will never know. I went on my buddy Timm’s radio show last Sunday night and had a total blast.  It was the fastest four hours of my life, no kidding.

Work (day job) is as stressful as a cat in a yarn factory – sensory overload! The office is on high intensity being the middle of tax season.  Tempers are short and the new gal is upset a lot.

To help her out I tell her some ridiculous story from my past. It works!  I have actually thought about writing a memoir of the crazy crap I have endured.  When I tell the stories people crack up.  I would hope a similar sentiment could be conveyed with my written word.  I mean, sure I am no, well, memoir writer.  I like to think I’d do okay.

On with the week’s mission:

  • Edit fifteen pages a day on WIP. I started this and feel this is a pace I can keep.
  • Write my 750 words a day. I missed three days this month so far. Bad!
  • Keep up with Triberr.  There are a few bugs in the program, but it is coming along.
  • Read/comment blogs.  I am doing about twenty – thirty a day.  This is still way too much. I need to cut back.
  • Continue to schedule blog posts for three weekly segments.
  • Write up a new budget.
  • Walk at least twenty minutes a day.

So there you have it folks.. you can all exhale now.  Man, what a suspenseful list, eh? Hope you are all doing well on your ROW80 goals. :D  Feel free to let me know what’s up with you guys and be sure to post to the linky tool found at the Linky Tools Thingy.  Happy Rowing and enjoy your Sunday.

NaNoWriMo and the Proverbial Butt Kicking

So I am doing NaNoWriMo this year.  Yay me.  So far I am 36,209 words in.  I am super excited to be a participant this year and love the connections I have made with other Nanos.

I have been to two write-ins which are loads of fun!

Somehow through the whole NaNo thingy… I have to keep doing other non-writing things such as:  spending time with family, working at my full-time job, watching The Walking Dead (and football) … oh, and showering.  I always forget how important showering is!

My boyfriend gave me a bit of crap today.  I wrote over 2,000 words today and was freaking out because I wanted to reach the 40,000 mark today.  But he was right.  My mind was mush, my back was killing me and I am almost to the point where my plot has gone on strike.  Can’t have that.

I even am baking chocolate chip cookies!

We here in the household seem to be quite addicted to chocolate chip cookies these past few weeks.  Now, the three of us are also going to the gym (my daughter and I went today).  Maybe we think that if we do an extra fifteen minutes on the tread, the cookies won’t matter.  In the back of our little minds, however, we know…. those cookies matter.

Me? I am not freaking out about it.  I quit smoking the day NaNoWriMo started.  I hadn’t even realized that this was to be.  I mean, my boyfriend was nagging and nagging and nagging still. “When are you quitting?  Are you quitting soon? Darlene, is today the day you quit?”

“FINE!  I’ll quit the day after Halloween! All Saints Day!  How perfect a day to quit smoking!  All Saints Day!” Yeah, I freaked out a little.  Then it dawned on me.

Crap!!  NaNoWriMo starts on November 1st!  It’s all good though.  Apparently my seething tummy knots and unabated anger are doing my story rather well. ;)  Now, my family and the lady that followed me in the parking lot today to tell me I could “try a little kindness”…. they are singing a different tune.

Happy ROW80ing and NaNoWriMoing my fellow friendly writer peepazoids!

It’s Better, It’s Worse… It’s Both

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I joined Oprah’s Lifeclass a few weeks ago and I have to say… I love it.  I am about ten classes in and am learning a lot about myself by answering thought-provoking questions that only I can see the answers to.  There is also a Daily Life Question that we have the option of answering.  It is linked to the users Twitter account.

As I read some of the answers (a lot of them anonymous) I shuddered at some of the things a lot of people have been through usually in great part by their parents.  I saw remnants of abuse, both physical and sexual, mental anguish, alcoholism, abandonment… :(

It just got me thinking.. like.. what the hell do I have to bitch about?  Ok, yeah.. my childhood wasn’t the greatest.. I have always been socially awkward and put a lot of my worth on my physical beauty (but am too lazy to do any upkeep on it).  I tend to talk way too much when I get nervous and yes.. I am an alcoholic.

BUT – I am sober!  I AM beautiful!  I grew up poor.. but I have character.  I have small boobs.. but I have a great butt!  I can be very indecisive, but when I know what I want.. no one is stopping me.

It is so important for me (and you!) to look at the silver lining in the dark, looming clouds that hover over our heads from time to time.

We have all been through our own share of hell.  I remember years of self-pity, beating my head against the wall as I cursed and screamed “WHY ME?!”

Well, why not me?  Bad things have happened to me because I have the ability to help others.  If all I can do is take my experiences and share them with another, then whatever I have been through is not in vain.

Whatever doesn’t kill you – makes you stronger. 

What experiences have made you stronger?

Keep on ROWing the 80 River

This week has been slightly productive.  I managed to get a little work done on my WIP.  I am looking through my outline to tackle the next scene.

My uncle passed away last week.  His funeral was Friday.  I hadn’t seen my uncle in many years.  When I was little he was the uncle who always made me laugh.  His funeral was actually a happy one as it was a celebration of his life.  My cousin Dean, his youngest son, is an Elvis impersonator and he sang a few songs that my uncle loved.  My uncle apparently used to go to all of my cousins performances. :)  My cousin really does sound just like Elvis.

He did not wear Elvis gear to the funeral.

I am almost to 7500 words on my WIP.  My goal for this week is to hit 10,000.  However that comes so be it!

I signed up for the Oprah Life Class.  So far I am loving it.  :)  I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do the work because I didn’t get a book in the mail (I was told I would but oh well).  However, there is a an online message board and classroom to answer the questions.  This is probably better because I am more accountable.

So far I have done the first five classes. :)  Go me!

My goals for this week are simple:

  • Get 2500 words done on my WIP.
  • Go through old clothes and donate.
  • Read/comment blogs.
  • Keep up with Twitter (I have been slacking!)
  • Formulate a gym regimen.
  • Write up a budget.
  • Find a day to go somewhere and get some kick ass pictures with my camera.
  • Post on 80′s blog.
  • Keep up with the Oprah class.

Wow .  That is quite a list!

By the way, I did get to the park yesterday and got a great picture of a baby buck.  If you look closely at his head.. you’ll see faint nubs where his antlers will eventually be.

Happy ROWing!

Let’s Try This ROW 80 Diddlybop Again

After reading Barbara McDowell’s blog I realized I have been slacking… I also noticed that when I set goals, I set them too high.  I don’t meet them, sulk, pout and then say, “what is the point?”  Self-sabotage maybe?

So after reading Barbara’s blog, I was stoked.  She broke her goals down in a simple way that seemed easier than tracing ABC’s.

I am going to take another stab at this ROW jaun.

October 3 – November 15

  • Writing

Write 50 words a day on WIP. If I go over, yay!  50 is attainable.

  • Blogging

Write 1 blog entry weekly on main blog.    Write 1 entry a week on 80′s blog.  Continue to update Blogspot blog each Sunday.

  • Reading

Read 7-10 blogs a week.  Comment on each blog.  Read my darn Kindle!

  • The Craft

I picked up a great book on memoir writing.  Read a chapter a week in this book.  Do the exercises.

  • Health

I have been slacking in this area.   Start walking each day.  20 minute minimum.  Get my butt to the gym 3x a week.

No more McDonald’s!  I think I have enough colorful Coke glasses at this point.

  • Sobriety

One AA meeting a week.  Talk to my sponsor if any life occurrences come up.

  • Me!

For the love of marshmallows, do something fun once a week.  A favorite movie, troll a used book store, walk in the park.  I am getting a new camera in a few weeks, so I’ll be adding photography to my list of hobbies..

Happy ROWing everyone!!

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